Blanca Portillo, a.k.a. “¿Y eso qué es lo que es?”

Alatriste, el acontecimiento cinematográfico español del año. No tengo ganas de escribir una sesuda, ácida y resultona crítica, así que enlazo a Iván Reguera, con el que estoy muy de acuerdo. Prefiero centrarme en una cuestión que considero que es otra de las razones por las que la película falla: un mal casting.

A veces parece que los profesionales se olvidan de algo tan básico como que “muchas caras conocidas no es sinónimo de un buen casting”. Y es una pena, porque es uno de los cánceres (sí, hay varios) del cine español. En cuanto la producción es de cierta enjundia, parece que los directores de casting, los productores o los responsables de la peli en general se ponen cachondos, se les calientan los cascos y les da la fiebre de llamar a todo cristo para que salga en la peli. Y eso es malo, muy malo.

¿Por qué en Alatriste todos los personajes con frase son actores conocidos? Entiéndaseme: no voy a sentenciar a ningún actor popular o que haya trabajado en TV al ostracismo, pero… joder, que todos los personajes sean para peña así no hace sino sacarte continuamente de la película, te impide centrarte en la trama, en definitiva, le resta toda la credibilidad. Y si encima es sólo para soltar una frase y desaparecer, pues ya ni te cuento. Al final la peli parece la fiesta de los Goya, todos los amiguetes disfrazados de época y haciendo como que actúan.

Eso es lo que, desafortunadamente, me ocurrió cuando vi Alatriste: no es sólo por Pilar López de Ayala, ni por Pilar Bardem, ni por el Paco de Los hombres de Paco, es por una ingente cantidad de gepetos que conoces de toda la vida cuyos nombres desconoces, pero que en cuanto los ves no puedes evitar decir “coño, el pibe éste”. Y adiós muy buenas, ya no le ves como un hidalgo del XVII, sino como el que salió una vez en Policías haciendo de ladrón.

Un, dos, tres... splash! Blanca se transforma en un pejcao mu gris

Hay quien llama a esto “cameos”. Yo lo llamo “cagarla”. Especialmente cuando, oh sorpresa, te las ves con una mujer como Blanca Portillo haciendo de monje psicópata: miren, caballeros, lo siento, pero me parece una gilipollez, una mamarrachada, un capricho contraproducente. Quizás un espectador alemán vea la peli y diga: “hostia, qué cura más raro, qué miedo da”, pero todos los españoles que hemos visto la peli estamos diciendo lo mismo: “y esto, ¿a qué viene?”. Y como todos los detalles de la peli ya eran conocidos desde que comenzó el rodaje, pues cuando te sientas a ver la peli no estás sino pensando: “a ver cómo ha quedado”. Y no es más que Blanca Portillo hablando como Blanca Portillo pero calva y con un mechón de pelo en plan Ronaldo en su momento. No sé, un patinazo total en una peli que tiene unos cuantos.

Se supone que la elección de Portillo para ese papel fue decisión del propio Díaz Yanes, que desde el principio tuvo claro que quería una mujer para ese papel. Me parece bien, puede ser una buena idea, como hizo Mel Gibson para el personaje del demonio en La pasión de Cristo. Pero, ¿cuál es la diferencia entre ambos casos? ¡Que Gibson pilló a una completa desconocida, joder! Imagínate el personaje del inquisidor Bocanegra interpretado por una mujer desconocida y un poco fea. ¡El resultado es infinitamente mejor!

Hay algo que Kubrick siempre tuvo claro en sus castings: que, para según que personajes, quería actores conocidos o desconocidos. Por ejemplo, quiso a la pareja de moda de Hollywood para Eyes wide shut o al siempre inquietante Nicholson para El resplandor, pero huyó de los jovencitos de moda a finales de los 80 para toda la tropa de La chaqueta metálica. Y aunque dio a Ryan O’Neal el papel protagonista de Barry Lyndon cuando ya había encarnado al Oliver de Love story, fue cuando habían pasado 5 años de aquel exitazo y suponía dar un salto cualitativo de madurez, para lo que le rodeó de la casi perfecta desconocida Marisa Berenson y de un plantel de actores inéditos para el gran público, incluido el gran Patrick Magee, que ya había participado con un breve papel en La naranja mecánica.

Para terminar: apostó por un chico malencarado de mirada torva para Alex De Large, eligió a un perfecto secundario del Hollywood más académico para Humbert Humbert y le dio 4 papeles en Teléfono rojo… a uno de los mejores cómicos del cine, Peter Sellers, sabiendo de su gran capacidad camaleónica. Puso a anónimos astronautas como víctimas del ordenador HAL 9000 y sólo repitió con Kirk Douglas porque las necesidades lo imponían: fue quien puso la pasta para Senderos de gloria y quien había montado todo Espartaco cuando contrató a Stanley para que éste salvara el barco.

¿Moraleja? Un casting depende de mil movidas, los actores y los papeles suelen ser moneda de cambio entre inversores, productores y directores. Pero sin cojones y sin buen ojo ten por seguro que salen chufas de cuidado. Algo de lo que todos vamos aprendiendo.

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