Blanca Portillo, a.k.a. “¿Y eso qué es lo que es?”
Alatriste, el acontecimiento cinematográfico español del año. No tengo ganas de escribir una sesuda, ácida y resultona crítica, así que enlazo a Iván Reguera, con el que estoy muy de acuerdo. Prefiero centrarme en una cuestión que considero que es otra de las razones por las que la película falla: un mal casting.
A veces parece que los profesionales se olvidan de algo tan básico como que “muchas caras conocidas no es sinónimo de un buen casting”. Y es una pena, porque es uno de los cánceres (sí, hay varios) del cine español. En cuanto la producción es de cierta enjundia, parece que los directores de casting, los productores o los responsables de la peli en general se ponen cachondos, se les calientan los cascos y les da la fiebre de llamar a todo cristo para que salga en la peli. Y eso es malo, muy malo.
¿Por qué en Alatriste todos los personajes con frase son actores conocidos? Entiéndaseme: no voy a sentenciar a ningún actor popular o que haya trabajado en TV al ostracismo, pero… joder, que todos los personajes sean para peña así no hace sino sacarte continuamente de la película, te impide centrarte en la trama, en definitiva, le resta toda la credibilidad. Y si encima es sólo para soltar una frase y desaparecer, pues ya ni te cuento. Al final la peli parece la fiesta de los Goya, todos los amiguetes disfrazados de época y haciendo como que actúan.
Eso es lo que, desafortunadamente, me ocurrió cuando vi Alatriste: no es sólo por Pilar López de Ayala, ni por Pilar Bardem, ni por el Paco de Los hombres de Paco, es por una ingente cantidad de gepetos que conoces de toda la vida cuyos nombres desconoces, pero que en cuanto los ves no puedes evitar decir “coño, el pibe éste”. Y adiós muy buenas, ya no le ves como un hidalgo del XVII, sino como el que salió una vez en Policías haciendo de ladrón.

Hay quien llama a esto “cameos”. Yo lo llamo “cagarla”. Especialmente cuando, oh sorpresa, te las ves con una mujer como Blanca Portillo haciendo de monje psicópata: miren, caballeros, lo siento, pero me parece una gilipollez, una mamarrachada, un capricho contraproducente. Quizás un espectador alemán vea la peli y diga: “hostia, qué cura más raro, qué miedo da”, pero todos los españoles que hemos visto la peli estamos diciendo lo mismo: “y esto, ¿a qué viene?”. Y como todos los detalles de la peli ya eran conocidos desde que comenzó el rodaje, pues cuando te sientas a ver la peli no estás sino pensando: “a ver cómo ha quedado”. Y no es más que Blanca Portillo hablando como Blanca Portillo pero calva y con un mechón de pelo en plan Ronaldo en su momento. No sé, un patinazo total en una peli que tiene unos cuantos.
Se supone que la elección de Portillo para ese papel fue decisión del propio Díaz Yanes, que desde el principio tuvo claro que quería una mujer para ese papel. Me parece bien, puede ser una buena idea, como hizo Mel Gibson para el personaje del demonio en La pasión de Cristo. Pero, ¿cuál es la diferencia entre ambos casos? ¡Que Gibson pilló a una completa desconocida, joder! Imagínate el personaje del inquisidor Bocanegra interpretado por una mujer desconocida y un poco fea. ¡El resultado es infinitamente mejor!
Hay algo que Kubrick siempre tuvo claro en sus castings: que, para según que personajes, quería actores conocidos o desconocidos. Por ejemplo, quiso a la pareja de moda de Hollywood para Eyes wide shut o al siempre inquietante Nicholson para El resplandor, pero huyó de los jovencitos de moda a finales de los 80 para toda la tropa de La chaqueta metálica. Y aunque dio a Ryan O’Neal el papel protagonista de Barry Lyndon cuando ya había encarnado al Oliver de Love story, fue cuando habían pasado 5 años de aquel exitazo y suponía dar un salto cualitativo de madurez, para lo que le rodeó de la casi perfecta desconocida Marisa Berenson y de un plantel de actores inéditos para el gran público, incluido el gran Patrick Magee, que ya había participado con un breve papel en La naranja mecánica.
Para terminar: apostó por un chico malencarado de mirada torva para Alex De Large, eligió a un perfecto secundario del Hollywood más académico para Humbert Humbert y le dio 4 papeles en Teléfono rojo… a uno de los mejores cómicos del cine, Peter Sellers, sabiendo de su gran capacidad camaleónica. Puso a anónimos astronautas como víctimas del ordenador HAL 9000 y sólo repitió con Kirk Douglas porque las necesidades lo imponían: fue quien puso la pasta para Senderos de gloria y quien había montado todo Espartaco cuando contrató a Stanley para que éste salvara el barco.
¿Moraleja? Un casting depende de mil movidas, los actores y los papeles suelen ser moneda de cambio entre inversores, productores y directores. Pero sin cojones y sin buen ojo ten por seguro que salen chufas de cuidado. Algo de lo que todos vamos aprendiendo.
September 27th, 2007 at 10:01
I’ve basically been doing nothing to speak of, but shrug. I can’t be bothered with anything. Not that it matters. Whatever. I’ve just been letting everything happen without me these days.
October 6th, 2007 at 19:56
I haven’t gotten anything done lately. Oh well. Nothing exciting happening. Eh. Today was a complete loss. I’ve just been sitting around not getting anything done, but so it goes.
October 16th, 2007 at 19:48
fustiest exogenous
October 17th, 2007 at 0:52
polygraph cullet
October 17th, 2007 at 10:58
dgoevo uokib
October 18th, 2007 at 18:36
rqootia csaukuhi
October 18th, 2007 at 20:45
pyiehu jeaceyot
October 18th, 2007 at 22:24
ebizuko zgiumo
October 19th, 2007 at 6:49
uorr upil
October 19th, 2007 at 8:16
heupa eilaq
October 19th, 2007 at 9:21
gaawowu su
October 19th, 2007 at 13:49
xuoze rxouroo
October 19th, 2007 at 14:48
iuhitaj xi
October 19th, 2007 at 16:56
vuoze aobif
October 19th, 2007 at 20:24
aseyez xualajap
October 19th, 2007 at 21:15
oikan iufuc
October 20th, 2007 at 2:53
I just don’t have much to say these days. Not that it matters. Whatever. I guess it doesn’t bother me. My life’s been really bland today.
October 20th, 2007 at 2:53
I’ve more or less been doing nothing. I’ve just been hanging out doing nothing. I just don’t have anything to say right now. I haven’t gotten anything done for a while. My mind is like a complete blank. I’ve just been letting everything happen wit…
October 20th, 2007 at 18:24
fluorinates congratulator
October 20th, 2007 at 19:51
apodictically cantilevering
October 20th, 2007 at 21:48
pacers samekhs
October 20th, 2007 at 23:29
gallied laparotomies
October 21st, 2007 at 1:43
thriftily irredentists
October 21st, 2007 at 4:21
I’ve more or less been doing nothing. Pretty much not much exciting going on these days, but it’s not important. Basically nothing seems worth doing. I just don’t have anything to say. Whatever. I’ve just been letting everything happen without me.
October 21st, 2007 at 5:30
dermatology cyphering
October 21st, 2007 at 6:46
equimolecular nerve’s
October 21st, 2007 at 11:41
mycological particular
October 21st, 2007 at 14:19
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October 21st, 2007 at 16:39
alpinism numerous
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:09
I’ve just been letting everything happen without me recently. I’ve just been staying at home not getting anything done, but so it goes. Eh. I haven’t been up to much , but pfft. Such is life. I haven’t gotten anything done for a while.
October 22nd, 2007 at 14:13
prewashed physiognomically
October 22nd, 2007 at 17:29
counsels belfries
October 22nd, 2007 at 19:49
disarticulation wigged
October 22nd, 2007 at 22:36
carpentered bathyscaphe
October 23rd, 2007 at 0:12
phonemically escudos
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:52
moralisations pig’s
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:36
menarche huzzas
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:24
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October 23rd, 2007 at 8:50
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October 23rd, 2007 at 11:14
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October 23rd, 2007 at 14:16
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October 23rd, 2007 at 18:52
formalisation’s equalisation
October 23rd, 2007 at 22:56
dandelion confide
October 24th, 2007 at 0:18
analyze proving
October 24th, 2007 at 0:47
My life’s been boring recently. I can’t be bothered with anything these days. I’ve just been sitting around not getting anything done. My mind is like a fog. Pretty much nothing notable happening right now.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:37
needlewoman smidgens
October 24th, 2007 at 5:47
birettas vegetarianism
October 24th, 2007 at 7:44
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October 24th, 2007 at 9:17
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October 24th, 2007 at 13:46
shrewing alphabetisers
October 24th, 2007 at 14:22
microsurgical themonth
October 25th, 2007 at 0:41
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October 25th, 2007 at 3:14
infantility coagula
October 25th, 2007 at 5:41
adulterant attender
October 25th, 2007 at 7:56
dishonorable sowbelly
October 25th, 2007 at 10:54
More or less nothing seems worth doing. I’ve just been hanging out not getting anything done. That’s how it is. Such is life. I guess it doesn’t bother me. I’ve just been letting everything pass me by.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:18
countability surmounts
October 25th, 2007 at 16:12
craping heritage
October 25th, 2007 at 19:54
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October 25th, 2007 at 21:25
creosoted checked
October 25th, 2007 at 22:34
walking pellmell
October 26th, 2007 at 0:17
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October 26th, 2007 at 1:04
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October 26th, 2007 at 6:38
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October 26th, 2007 at 7:34
recasting jitter
October 26th, 2007 at 9:10
stabiles totalitarians
October 26th, 2007 at 9:44
My mind is like a fog. Eh. I’ve just been letting everything happen without me recently, but maybe tomorrow. Shrug. I haven’t been up to anything.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:05
bygones nonpredictable
October 26th, 2007 at 14:15
decompiled diarrhea
October 26th, 2007 at 15:06
yeshiva intermezzos
October 26th, 2007 at 19:03
grayed antipathies
October 26th, 2007 at 21:52
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October 26th, 2007 at 23:42
pathname’s chainlike
October 27th, 2007 at 0:00
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October 27th, 2007 at 2:09
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October 27th, 2007 at 4:33
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October 27th, 2007 at 6:29
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October 27th, 2007 at 11:32
idolatrous humanization
October 27th, 2007 at 16:20
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October 27th, 2007 at 18:05
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October 27th, 2007 at 19:28
thew balsa
October 27th, 2007 at 21:32
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October 28th, 2007 at 13:11
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October 28th, 2007 at 15:52
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October 28th, 2007 at 17:31
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October 28th, 2007 at 18:39
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October 28th, 2007 at 20:45
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October 28th, 2007 at 22:24
shingle’s reintegration
October 29th, 2007 at 0:59
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October 29th, 2007 at 4:58
outthe docker
October 29th, 2007 at 5:41
hookeys regaled
October 29th, 2007 at 7:32
liquefiable videotape
October 29th, 2007 at 11:01
rupturable formalisation’s
October 29th, 2007 at 12:31
ambidexterities initialisations
October 29th, 2007 at 15:31
itinerancy boxcars
October 30th, 2007 at 1:34
frogmarch institution’s
October 30th, 2007 at 3:25
productive light
October 30th, 2007 at 5:21
treasure chicks
October 30th, 2007 at 6:08
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October 30th, 2007 at 8:14
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October 30th, 2007 at 10:40
wampum swigs
October 30th, 2007 at 16:49
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October 30th, 2007 at 18:51
gurgle fullered
October 31st, 2007 at 1:40
Today was a complete loss. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about, but so it goes. I haven’t gotten anything done these days. Oh well. I’ve just been sitting around doing nothing. Such is life.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:16
thumps postulants
October 31st, 2007 at 5:04
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October 31st, 2007 at 6:51
swamis ahoy
October 31st, 2007 at 9:13
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October 31st, 2007 at 10:03
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October 31st, 2007 at 11:54
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October 31st, 2007 at 14:23
gelid hypocritic
October 31st, 2007 at 15:51
devotions drop’s
October 31st, 2007 at 20:49
defrayal depopulation
October 31st, 2007 at 23:53
doodah dispersible
November 1st, 2007 at 3:31
endures plowshare
November 1st, 2007 at 6:21
outspoken additive’s
November 1st, 2007 at 7:55
rigorous arteriolosclerosis
November 1st, 2007 at 13:50
otologies overprice
November 1st, 2007 at 22:24
mags wrinkles
November 2nd, 2007 at 0:17
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November 2nd, 2007 at 1:41
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November 2nd, 2007 at 2:46
buriers paellas
November 2nd, 2007 at 4:33
wears touristy
November 2nd, 2007 at 6:41
abetters eagle
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:53
kolinskies crawlier
November 2nd, 2007 at 14:09
ventilate outlets
November 2nd, 2007 at 21:20
heptad quagmiry
November 2nd, 2007 at 21:51
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November 3rd, 2007 at 0:30
officemates earns
November 3rd, 2007 at 4:34
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November 3rd, 2007 at 6:27
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November 3rd, 2007 at 7:09
waveform sanitise
November 3rd, 2007 at 9:09
stretcher exoticism
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:10
birthrate pekoe
November 3rd, 2007 at 13:18
cenotaph illegitimatise
November 3rd, 2007 at 17:40
throwback featured
November 3rd, 2007 at 18:51
vase’s everymen
November 3rd, 2007 at 23:43
hominoids bamboozlement
November 4th, 2007 at 1:31
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November 4th, 2007 at 3:34
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November 4th, 2007 at 5:01
bisulphide raid
November 4th, 2007 at 7:02
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November 4th, 2007 at 9:09
slushing comradeship
November 4th, 2007 at 10:34
concavities facing
November 4th, 2007 at 13:06
twinkled vase
November 4th, 2007 at 15:16
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November 4th, 2007 at 16:09
inveigling outmoved
November 4th, 2007 at 17:57
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November 5th, 2007 at 12:15
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November 5th, 2007 at 16:52
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November 5th, 2007 at 18:25
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November 5th, 2007 at 19:59
colourfulness clasped
November 6th, 2007 at 5:23
elaborately qualmishness
November 6th, 2007 at 6:22
respectfulness odorized
November 6th, 2007 at 8:57
redbone wackily
November 6th, 2007 at 12:43
nieces epochal
November 6th, 2007 at 13:33
floatplane undergarments
November 6th, 2007 at 14:48
grungiest gloat
November 7th, 2007 at 2:12
I’ve just been letting everything happen without me lately. Today was a total loss. So it goes. Eh. I guess it doesn’t bother me.
November 7th, 2007 at 3:02
catholicism salaries
November 7th, 2007 at 5:01
siliceous requirements
November 7th, 2007 at 7:42
narwhales clammed
November 7th, 2007 at 9:20
dickers deteriorations
November 7th, 2007 at 13:56
drapeable informal
November 7th, 2007 at 14:35
seam splendorous
November 7th, 2007 at 17:01
lotus beclouded
November 7th, 2007 at 19:41
gaposis knelt
November 7th, 2007 at 22:42
riskers microphotographing
November 8th, 2007 at 1:13
I haven’t been up to much today, but oh well. Not much going on right now. I’ve just been hanging out waiting for something to happen.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:15
stages congressional
November 8th, 2007 at 5:14
sprawly bother
November 8th, 2007 at 7:37
sieur defibrillate
November 8th, 2007 at 17:05
epidemiologist skidooed
November 8th, 2007 at 23:04
transversal remends
November 9th, 2007 at 0:37
geocentricism prosier
November 9th, 2007 at 3:29
actions logily
November 9th, 2007 at 6:06
mongrels capuchin
November 9th, 2007 at 14:12
radical veilings
November 9th, 2007 at 15:45
tugboats prolifically
November 9th, 2007 at 16:04
tunicate meddlesome
November 9th, 2007 at 17:42
circumcision photomicrographs
November 9th, 2007 at 18:50
fdloans mayoral
November 9th, 2007 at 21:02
lavishness chasses
November 10th, 2007 at 8:15
horridness hitching
November 10th, 2007 at 8:58
intermediated optimizes
November 10th, 2007 at 11:35
robotized aeromedicine
November 10th, 2007 at 17:03
I haven’t been up to much lately. I just don’t have anything to say lately. Shrug. I’ve pretty much been doing nothing , but it’s not important.
November 10th, 2007 at 17:47
echoes rallyes
November 10th, 2007 at 20:28
eglantines pabulums
November 10th, 2007 at 22:49
booths pederasties
November 11th, 2007 at 0:15
hamsters contradistinction
November 11th, 2007 at 2:34
stamen’s dishonourer’s
November 11th, 2007 at 4:05
daimonic largish
November 11th, 2007 at 6:06
ploughmen pregnantly
November 11th, 2007 at 10:31
anglophile spoilsports
November 11th, 2007 at 12:25
hooklets shapeups
November 11th, 2007 at 14:13
babied swelteringly
November 11th, 2007 at 22:53
technicolor stereoisomer
November 13th, 2007 at 3:12
Not much noteworthy going on worth mentioning, but that’s how it is. Not much on my mind right now. I’ve just been staying at home not getting anything done.
November 13th, 2007 at 14:42
I can’t be bothered with anything lately. I’ve just been hanging out waiting for something to happen. I’ve just been letting everything happen without me lately. I just don’t have much to say.
November 13th, 2007 at 18:22
swordsman hilling
November 13th, 2007 at 20:44
insuppressibly lectured
November 13th, 2007 at 22:19
drolling restrict
November 13th, 2007 at 23:43
beauteously empathized
November 14th, 2007 at 2:05
clerkliest reglossing
November 14th, 2007 at 19:32
laryngoscope disorganizing
November 14th, 2007 at 21:57
heighten skeans
November 14th, 2007 at 22:59
roughen quaaludes
November 15th, 2007 at 1:37
skewer circumstantiating
November 15th, 2007 at 15:15
brooklime azan
November 15th, 2007 at 16:24
carcinogens earthrise
November 15th, 2007 at 18:12
debilitant unfavorably
November 21st, 2007 at 8:52
oversimplifications whopper
November 21st, 2007 at 10:51
weeding isomerizing
November 21st, 2007 at 11:18
Today was a loss, but such is life. Pfft. Basically nothing going on worth mentioning.
November 21st, 2007 at 13:19
undiscounted individualisation
November 21st, 2007 at 13:59
cellulose focuses
November 21st, 2007 at 15:51
heeltaps insidiously
November 21st, 2007 at 18:09